Quote of the Day

Procrastination is like masturbation: in the end, you're just screwing yourself.

(no idea where that one comes from, but I like it!)

My 400th Post

I've been thinking about what to post for my 400th post. I finally came across something worth "borrowing" for the purpose. You must check out over-caffeinateddad. He rocks!

DOES THIS MEAN PARENTING IS A MENTAL ILLNESS?
Codependency is a dysfunction associated with excessively focusing on the needs and behaviors of others. But isn’t that also what parenting is all about?

Codependents/Parents

• place the needs of others above their own /which explains why parents never get enough sleep, can’t get a minute to sit down and relax, and frequently find themselves sitting in a booth at Chuck E. Cheese eating cold pizza and waiting for tokens to run out
• derive their sense of self from being a caretaker and feel lost without somebody to need them /which explains why parents cry when their pre-schoolers finally learn to tie their shoelaces by themselves
• commit to things they don’t want to do, then resent having to do them /like playdates, chaperoning school field trips, hosting sleepovers or anything involve a PTA sub-committee
• feel like they are the only ones who can do things right /even after explaining “how to” three or four times using charts, graphs, diagrams and instructional videos
• make excuses for the bad behavior of those they are taking care of /especially in public, when in-laws or other parents are watching, even though nobody really believes it when they say their kids are just “over-tired,” “still learning to share,” or “out of sorts”
• often feel victimized /and would probably go to therapy because of it if they had the time
• constantly give but get little or nothing in return /all day, every day, without so much as “thank you” — Is it really that hard to show a little appreciation for all the time and effort parenting takes?
• do things others are clearly capable of /like picking up the towels on the bathroom floor, wiping butts, “helping” with science projects that were supposed to have been started weeks ago but weren’t, etc.

So then if parenting does qualify as a mental illness, shouldn’t health insurance pay for some kind of treatment like a week alone on a beach in Cabo San Lucas or even just a night of babysitting?

(borrowed/stolen with credit from over-caffeinateddad)

My Givadamn's Busted, part #400

Foley-d Again!

Here is a picture of my newest nemesis:

For those of you not "in the know" or lucky enough to have never had one, that's a Foley catheter. Sterile technique is not my strong suit this week. Failed that check-off and have to repeat it next Friday (at least they give us a chance to repeat.)
Grrr...

The Part Where My Head Explodes, Part Deux

Hubby sick. Poose sick. Work a bitch. School too much.
Lost my verbs.

whappity-whappity-whappity-whappity-whap

(head against desk, bounce, repeat)

Sipping Vodka Through a Straw

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3.There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

The origination of this letter is unknown.

All Day Long I Love My Job...

So I'm the roll of ass-wipe this week.
I fucking HATE this job. I can't finish nursing school fast enough!

Nothing like long, crappy hours for low pay in an environment where initiative is punished and backstabbing and laziness rewarded.